Thursday, July 17, 2008

This has never happened to me before...

(Deep, gravelly Rod Serling voice) Picture a man on a journey through time and space...

(flashback) His trusty steed, his Diamondback mountain bike, has carried him many miles through broiling summer heat and freezing autumn fog, with nary a complaint or flat tire...

(fade to recent past) On Wednesday, our intrepid hero mounted his trusty steed for a ride, trying to get in some miles before he embarks on Cycle Oregon in September. He had no idea how the ride would end...

(Serling fades quietly into the background)...

So. I left mom in law's place about 4:15 on my mountain bike. The reason I rode it is that I didn't feel like taking my road bike off the trainer the night before, and with the mountain bike I don't have any qualms about just laying it in the back of the pickup. The down side of that bike is that it has Specialized Armadillo kevlar belted tires and tubes filled with Slime, which makes the rolling weight a bit on the hefty side. Character building, right? The wind, as usual for this time of year, was essentially howling, blowing small pets and patio furniture across the ground. And also as generally seems to be the usual when I go abiking, it was a headwind. Not to worry, though. I've been told over and over that riding into the wind is also character building as well as good training.

I gave myself a time limit, because I had a meeting to go to later in the evening. I turned around exactly at the appointed time (well almost), snarfed down a "Sweet and Salty Peanut Bar", and began to pedal back toward mom in law's. Did I mention that the trip out was generally uphill? It was. I was pretty happy with myself, because I found myself up on the pedals on most of the hills instead of spinning along. That at least tells me that I'm not totally unprepared for CO.

Of course going back downhill was bonus. At one point I was tucked down on my bar extensions and looked down at my computer and was told that I was doing 40+. Cool!

Now, picture this chubby body pedaling merrily along chased by the wind. I've managed to get up enough speed to have a breeze in my face, so I'm a happy camper. Suddenly there's a juicy farting sound and my rear tire goes flat. Instantaneous departure of the inflationary medium (the air) to another location. This is not a good thing, as I'm somewhere in the vicinity of 1.5 miles from my starting location.

I lay the bike on its side and make an attempt to pump up the tire, reasoning that with the amount of Slime in the tire, if I can get some air in it, I may be able to finish the ride, albeit slower. Pump, pump, pump. The tire appears to be accepting the air. Eureka!

Mounted once again, I try a few pedal strokes. In less than 20 yards, the tire is flat again. I instantly brake and look down just in time to see the valve stem make an unsuccessful attempt to travel into a different space/time continuum. It's laying on the asphalt alongside the tire. It now resides somewhere in a clump of grass alongside US 30...I had a nice walk, and finished the day with 24.5 pedaling miles, which is better than nothing, I suppose...

This has never happened to me before...

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